Is It “In Love” Or “In Lust”

Are you truly in love, or are you truly in lust?

For the most, falling in love happens over time, and the transition from initial attraction to true romantic love is a predictable course that depends on many different factors?

 

Love is an intense feeling of affection toward another person. It distinguishes moments and situations within intimate relationships to an individual as contributing to a significant relationship connection that forms emotional attachment..

But on the flip side, lust is a strong desire of a sexual nature in the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging. Lust is fueled by idealization and projection-you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be-rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all. Lust is based on physical attraction but can be transformed into deep romantic love with time.

Lust: An intense desire or craving for gratification; when contrasted with love, lust usually means sexual desire, passion, acquisitiveness, and/or intense emotions.

Love: Commitment to another, genuine intentions. Thinking about the other person’s feelings before acting. A deep affection, contentment, confidence. Communications and negotiations to appropriate expectations. Love requires a lot of selflessness and polite assertiveness, you are loving your best friend.

Lust: not too interested in spending time together without sex or the expectation of it. Not wanting to discuss real life problems and may not even want to spend the night. Fantasies are mostly sexual or about the person’s appearance and body, with no interest in meeting the person’s needs outside the bedroom – or maybe even inside.

Love:  Faithfulness, loyalty, confidence. Willingness to make sacrifices for another. Working at settling differences. Able to compromise so that either both win or at least give the other person’s opinion a chance.

Lust can lead to true love as we become attached to and get to know our sexual partner, and lust doesn’t always have to fade. There are couples that have been married for decades and still enjoy a vibrant sex life. However, true love does require that we recognize our separateness and love our mate for who they truly are. There’s always some idealization in a new relationship, but true love endures when that fades. As the relationship grows, we develop trust and greater closeness. Instead of trying to change our partner, we accept them and want to share more of our time and life together. We also accept each others problems, friends and family. Our lover’s needs, feelings, and happiness become more important to us, and have thoughts about planning a future together. When the passion is still there, that’s great, enjoy having both love and lust!