Why Am I Always Horny
Human sexuality is pretty complex. A big truth pill I think a lot of people have problems swallowing is its truly fluid nature. Sexuality pulses are within each of us, and we all choose different, varying ways to indulge in and express it.
“I am a 23 year old and I am constantly horny. Everything turns me on and I feel as though I am always a little wet. I have never had sex (l am a virgin), but I do masturbate. I often wake up sexually aroused, with my hands down there. I usually masturbate in the morning, and often at night to help me relax before I go to sleep. During the day when I get turned out, which is all the time lately, I try to think of things to make it stop. I can’t always masturbate, and quite frankly, I don’t want to, sometimes it just seems more like work than pleasure. Before and during my period is even worse. I know I’m young and this is probably normal, but it’s starting to get really annoying. I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how I can lower my sex drive? Masturbation is helping, aside from short term relief and thinking of things about things that turn me off isn’t helping either. I’m not against sex, but I do have self confidence issues which is why I don’t really date. What is wrong with me!”
Constantly being horny is expected of guys, but it’s a lot harder to be a woman who’s almost always ready to go. Unfortunately, our society is permeated with unfair judgments about women who have a high sex drive, and those judgments affect us more often than you would think.
We know we’re “supposed” to make a guy wait to test his commitment, but we have a hard time waiting ourselves. Sex is an important part of a relationship, and it’s usually awkward at first. As soon as we’re dating someone new that we actually like, we can’t help that our minds automatically start thinking about sex. In many cases, we’re not capable of holding out long enough to make any kind of impression on a guy because we want it, too.
When we get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t want sex as often as we do, we wonder what’s wrong with us. It’s a common misconception that men always want sex, while we’re innocent little flowers who only do it for his pleasure. I shouldn’t need to tell you that’s bullshit, but just in case you weren’t aware, it is. It sucks when you like everything about a guy, but he’s not rising to the occasion as often as you’d like and or isn’t as enthusiastic. Our society’s been permeated with this double standard for so long, however, that we actually start to doubt our own normalcy.
We live in a world of so much slut-shaming. Actually, in churches, it’s called counseling, but it’s the same thing. It’s great that waiting for marriage worked for you, but not all of us want that kind of life. We know that the desire is perfectly normal, an instinctual urge similar to getting hungry or thirsty. Stop judging; just live and let live.
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